Courage
by Twisted Twisty
Summary: Janelos One Shot - Pretty much how I think Carlos and Jane's first kiss would've been like.


Was it sad that after only a month of "dating" all Carlos could think about was kissing Jane?

It didn't matter what they were doing, everything she did brought his attention to her lips. It sounded so childish and dumb and it confused him. Why was he thinking this way like _all the time_? Was it that hard for him to keep his hormones in check? Maybe it was because she was his first girlfriend ever.

He desperately wanted to talk to someone about it, to maybe get some advice or something. But who? The only people he would consider telling was Jay, Evie or Mal. But he felt like they would probably laugh and tell him to grow up… or to kiss her already; god he wanted to.

If you couldn't already tell.

He just couldn't muster up the courage to do so. He figured that when she was ready, she would make the first move and that hadn't happened yet. So maybe she _still_ wasn't ready? Or… Was he supposed to make the first move? He'd never done this before and neither had she, so he had no fucking clue how this worked.

So here he was, staring at her from across the room as she lay on her bed with a book in her hands. This was their usual after school routine. He would come to her dorm and they would hang out for a while. They studied, talked, watched movies, took Dude for walks, played video games. It was almost like they weren't dating. Like a platonic relationship?

But he always knew there was more than friendship between them. They would always cuddle on the bed, while watching a movie. He would start to feel his face heat up whenever her beautiful blue eyes pierced his. They held hands wherever they went (it just felt… right.)

She must have felt his gaze, because her eyes left the pages and caught his. For a second there was nothing else but her.

Nothing.

She slowly smiled. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "Nothing… You're just-"

She arched an eyebrow. "Hmm?"

"Beautiful." He sighed.

Her gaze softened and focused back on her book. "Thank you."

Again, all he wanted to do was go over there and kiss her. Maybe he should? If she wasn't ready he wouldn't do anything. But if she was… Well, that might finally clear his head a little bit.

In that moment, his confidence boosted and his heart started to pound.

He was gonna do it.

He stood up before he could really think about it and lay on the bed beside her, on his stomach. She either hadn't noticed (he knew how lost she could get in the books she read) or chose not to acknowledge it.

He was gonna have to improvise.

"Jane?"

She didn't respond for a few seconds (she must have been finishing off the sentence.) She closed the book between one finger and turned her attention back to him.

"Hi." She smiled softly and every time she did he fell even more in love with her.

She had the most beautiful smile.

He smiled back and lost his train of thought for a second. "Can… Can I try something?"

He could see the curiosity etched all over her face and she placed her book beside her; that was a sure sign he had her full attention.

How was he supposed to, you know, start it?

He moved closer until his hands brushed her shoulder. His head was above hers now and her eyes were glued to his, completely puzzled as to what he was doing.

His eyes dropped down to her lips as he moved closer; those lips he's been wanting to taste for weeks now. She seemed to realise what he was doing, because he felt her tense up under him.

He instantly paused and brought his eyes back to hers.

All he saw was fear.

But she didn't move away or try to stop him. She didn't even say a word, she just stared at him, completely frozen. He waited a few more seconds to see if she would give him any indication of what she wanted.

"Is this ok?" He whispered, only a few inches away from her.

He needed to know. She was confusing and scaring him at the same time. He didn't want to force her into anything she didn't want to do. He would never do such a thing.

She quickly nodded, but the look of fear never left her face.

Maybe she was just nervous?

But his heart started to pound again as he realised she _was_ ok with this.

He slowly moved forward again. He kept himself slow so – if she wanted to – she could pull away if she changed her mind.

But she never did.

His lips pressed softly against hers for a second or two and then he pulled back. He opened his eyes, wanting to see her reaction. He braced himself for the worst. But she looked nothing like she did before.

Her eyes were still closed and she now looked almost… peaceful.

He was glad to say the least.

He wanted to do it again, but even more than that, he wanted her to say something; anything. Did she like it? Did she want him to do it again? (He secretly hoped she'd say yes to both.)

"Jane?"

She opened her eyes as soon as he spoke and offered him a shy smile.

Before he could say anything else she cautiously brought her fingers up to his face and lightly traced his jaw line.

He couldn't put a valid reason on why that took his breath away, but it did. She was so gentle; light. After his whole life being a rough, loud, violent mess all he wanted was softness. He was sick of being pushed, hit and yelled at. There was something so refreshing and beautiful about her being so… so quiet and gentle and kind. Maybe that's what attracted him to start with?

"Carlos?" She murmured pulling him from his thoughts.

She startled him (sometimes he got a little too deep inside his own head.) He looked down at her and he's never felt so attracted to someone in his whole life.

How could these other douche bags not see how damn beautiful she is?

Lucky for him though.

She cupped his face and brought his lips back down to hers.

He really wasn't expecting that.

He melted into it as she moved her lips against his, obviously experimenting what it was like. It took his breath away; everything did. Nothing was wrong in his world right now, everything was perfect. His hands came up to tangle through her hair and she kept her fingers lightly pressed against the curve of his jaw.

He had never been this close to her; not really. Cuddling was different in a way. They both would always keep their hands in relatively "safe zones" on one another. But now he was touching places that he had been scared to even go near. He now completely understood why couples did this.

He pressed his lips against hers once more and pulled back.

Her cheeks were now bright pink, he noticed.

They were still only inches apart and after her eyes fluttered open again, they just seemed to study each other for a few seconds; really taking in what had just happened.

"That was my first kiss." She said, biting her bottom lip.

"Mine too." He said quietly.

He collapsed down beside her, on his back this time.

Nothing was going to be the same between them after this, he thought to himself and he looked over at Jane. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers together.

But – he smiled to himself – that was nowhere near a bad thing.

 **Hey guys! Thanks for reading. That was nowhere near my best writing, but that idea's been stuck in my head for ages and I needed to write it down. Also there's just not enough Janelos fics out there and I think they're so adorable!**


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